actually, I'm a sock model
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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