this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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