3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
