He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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