The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
