There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize