Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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