i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize