The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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