Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
