Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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