i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
