i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
