The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
