plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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