At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
