Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
