He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
