ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just blew my weed a kiss
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
