You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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