I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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