She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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