I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
id be glad to
I have demons in me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
