you guys were way drunker than both of me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
