I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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