thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
