The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
