Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
True college students do jello shots in the library
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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