I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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