You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
