i wish there were pregnant emoticons
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
