CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
