how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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