..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
