I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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