Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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