You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time