i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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