in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?