Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.

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  (703): drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things. http://tfl.nu/24x7
  Replies (2) Good night (1058) Bad night (454)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.

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  (602): I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again. http://tfl.nu/a40p
  Replies (35) Good night (9946) Bad night (1120)
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  (516): View more from New York

  making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"

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  (516): making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage" http://tfl.nu/jy1p
  Replies (9) Good night (4840) Bad night (959)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.

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  (316): I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock. http://tfl.nu/nmgr
  Replies (16) Good night (3808) Bad night (775)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?

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  (337): How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen? http://tfl.nu/ms4s
  Replies (6) Good night (2862) Bad night (860)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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  (509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig
  Replies (14) Good night (1359) Bad night (2065)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.

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  (616): Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life. http://tfl.nu/u6ny
  Replies (7) Good night (1502) Bad night (572)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.

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  (407): I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'. http://tfl.nu/3npe
  Replies (2) Good night (1505) Bad night (801)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.

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  (701): I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one. http://tfl.nu/n8z9
  Replies (5) Good night (1777) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.

  (619): View more from California

  I will find you...

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  (818): We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank. (619): I will find you... http://tfl.nu/dshk
  Replies (17) Good night (2538) Bad night (656)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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  (403): Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom http://tfl.nu/04zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1373) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart

  (416): View more from Toronto

  That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.

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  (519): Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart (416): That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you. http://tfl.nu/90qz
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (393)
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  (619): View more from California

  Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.

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  (619): Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way. http://tfl.nu/mas5
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.

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  (734): she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love. http://tfl.nu/ybpy
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (318)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.

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  (508): The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids. http://tfl.nu/p5pk
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (491)

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