Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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  (914): so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling http://tfl.nu/v4vu
  Replies (38) Good night (4793) Bad night (938)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.

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  (256): Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night. http://tfl.nu/gx6d
  Replies (17) Good night (3842) Bad night (1182)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.

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  (413): I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date. (215): You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds. http://tfl.nu/2p7v
  Replies (38) Good night (6091) Bad night (1227)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

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  (503): today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola. http://tfl.nu/yi5l
  Replies (18) Good night (2485) Bad night (5118)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (7088) Bad night (2630)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (3008)
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  (818): View more from California

  Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...

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  (818): Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth... http://tfl.nu/7gxw
  Replies (13) Good night (1794) Bad night (5690)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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  (231): You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches http://tfl.nu/iwei
  Replies (4) Good night (1666) Bad night (1299)
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  (831): View more from California

  oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.

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  (831): oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/xtip
  Replies (12) Good night (747) Bad night (2198)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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  (303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym
  Replies (6) Good night (1154) Bad night (541)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation

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  (406): I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation http://tfl.nu/qkc0
  Replies (6) Good night (1636) Bad night (1010)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."

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  (570): You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG." http://tfl.nu/j0ai
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (370)
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  (819): View more from Quebec

  I feel awkward giving career advice while naked

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  (819): I feel awkward giving career advice while naked http://tfl.nu/b8zx
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (293)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass

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  (410): You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass http://tfl.nu/1mx0
  Replies (1) Good night (395) Bad night (237)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.

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  (740): No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns. http://tfl.nu/99yv
  Replies (6) Good night (313) Bad night (363)

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