your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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