Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!

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  (810): The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure! http://tfl.nu/zlj2
  Replies (1) Good night (1058) Bad night (1794)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Yea well when i pee it makes steam.

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  (901): Yea well when i pee it makes steam. http://tfl.nu/1t52
  Replies (11) Good night (2379) Bad night (971)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.

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  (646): Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister. http://tfl.nu/1b2r
  Replies (15) Good night (573) Bad night (4043)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks

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  (616): The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks http://tfl.nu/03z3
  Replies (28) Good night (3475) Bad night (551)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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  (205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9
  Replies (39) Good night (632) Bad night (3637)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.

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  (251): You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded. http://tfl.nu/84co
  Replies (10) Good night (4034) Bad night (1594)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.

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  (203): Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs. http://tfl.nu/c91r
  Replies (26) Good night (985) Bad night (2982)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.

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  (724): He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever. http://tfl.nu/8ol6
  Replies (6) Good night (3363) Bad night (698)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me

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  (330): I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me http://tfl.nu/zsgz
  Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (1799)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.

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  (409): You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you. http://tfl.nu/firf
  Replies (3) Good night (2399) Bad night (884)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold

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  (843): Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold http://tfl.nu/201i
  Replies (2) Good night (591) Bad night (1522)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots

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  (816): I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots http://tfl.nu/14wj
  Replies (5) Good night (1502) Bad night (489)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?

  (1-715): View more from Wisconsin

  Probably

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  (715): Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment? (1-715): Probably http://tfl.nu/g5lc
  Replies (2) Good night (1342) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.

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  (989): If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals. http://tfl.nu/so0f
  Replies (8) Good night (1060) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening

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  (716): Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening http://tfl.nu/obf8
  Replies (4) Good night (282) Bad night (453)

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