oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
