She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize