She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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