never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
