Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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