In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
