In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My dick has a subreddit
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
