Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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