This girl is more easily done than said...
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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