Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
