I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
