Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
