i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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