her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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