tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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