If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
