Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
