I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
