mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
