; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
