well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
