i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
