is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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