Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
