Sponge bath it is.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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