Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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