I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
