its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
