One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
