This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
