dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
