I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
